How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Women's Rights.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops