Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man said hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +14

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

thumb_up thumb_down +14

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

thumb_up thumb_down +14

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops