what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What is White over Black? Society.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Agent 47.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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