Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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Politics

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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