1.....2.....3.....boom you died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops