What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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