- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Justin Beiber

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Safe sex MR

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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your going to die

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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