What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +50

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops