Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Chinese drivers.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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