Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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one day i went to bed

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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E= McVagina

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops