Psychics.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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Women's rights

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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