Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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refridgrator

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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