Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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