A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

vaginas are pretty!!!!

fack me in the ace! CC

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Knock Knock *opens the door*

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

elen degeneres is straight....

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...