Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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TIMMAH!

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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