Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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Once upon a cross

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops