Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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