What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

thumb_up thumb_down -11

try slamming a revolving door

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops