What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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poo

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops