Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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charlie sheen losing

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Meow.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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brainfart

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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you

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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