How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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