Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

TOBUSCUS

Hitler

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

Dylan is a person

Once upon a time, The end.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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