Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops