A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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