Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

69

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

Breast cancer.

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

Look how far I can kick this bucket

Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...