Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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0 + 0 = 0

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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