Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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