A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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EGGPLANT

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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