What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

Make little things count Teach midgets math

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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