a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Patriarchy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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