- Anti Joke

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

What isn't funny? The holacost.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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