Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Black people. They are so kind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Win and Beau have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops