Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Land Rovers

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops