Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Take off your shoes.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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69

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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