What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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Women's Rights.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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