Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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whats the difference between madalin mcan and batman...batman returns. not really madalin mcan gets rape fucked by many differnt men at the same time whilst she squeels for help

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women's rights

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops