A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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