Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops