A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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Joey mayer's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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