how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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