A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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general tso's broccoli

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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