The cow went moo

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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