Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops