Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down -16

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops