Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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