A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Reading the Terms and Conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops