What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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