Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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