When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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