Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops