Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Denard Robinson

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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