There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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