Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Brain fart

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...