What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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deez nuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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