In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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