Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Women's Rights

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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