Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Jesus Christ

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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