hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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guess what? bannanas

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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