I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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