If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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John lazzaro likes dick

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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