How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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