What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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bite me

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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