Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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A hill billy went fishing

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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