Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops