When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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