Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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