What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Feminism.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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